My Life in a Nutshell 2020
I quit my job in October of 2019. I got tired of being discriminated against due to my hearing loss. I did not realize the level of deafness until I got my cochlear implant. Nevertheless, I did not deserve to be treated inadequately. I decided in December of 2019 to get the cochlear implant. I was tired of fighting against my disability in a world that does not care. I lost hope, faith, and trust. I felt defeated and insignificant. In the new year, I tried to focus my attention on the implant. I was nervous and scared because there are always risks when you have surgery. I was hoping for the best.
In February, I decided to focus on school and getting ready for surgery. I was scheduled for the implant on March 5th. Luckily, everything fell into place, and my husband worked hard to pay the expensive COBRA insurance to have this surgery done.
I headed to Missoula for my surgery as COVID-19 began obstructing the world. I paid little attention to the pandemic drama because I didn’t want myself upset before and after the surgery. Once I got out of surgery, it was difficult to find medical supplies to treat my incision due to the hoarding. It was frustrating and showed human nature’s actual color – people are thrifty and fail to think about others. I was dealing with my issues due to the surgery. I had some pain and a lot of dizziness. I spent several weeks in the chair because my balance was off. While nursing myself to health, I watched the world fall apart due to COVID. I was nervous because there was no way I could deal with being sick on top of recovering from my surgery.
My recovery was a bit long and stressful because of COVID. I also had to start catching up with schoolwork and preparing for my final exams. I managed to get through school while recovering and survived the start of the pandemic. I began teaching dance remotely, which did not go well because dance is designed to be in class. I did do my best, and so did the kids.
In May, I got my implant activated. It was quite the experience. The weird noises and sounds were overwhelming. The volume was loud even though it was not near the average human hearing level. Voices and words sounded like robots, and it was a whole new adjustment period. It was overpowering for me. I also began putting together resumes and prepared for job searching. I was loathing every minute but needed to make it worthwhile since I finally got one ear back.
The district computer technician position came up again, and I barely got my application turned in before the closing date. I only had two days to get it all together. This would be my third time trying to apply for this job. I was nervous because I still heard robotic sounds. I needed more time to adapt, but I did not want to miss this opportunity. After two interviews, I got the news towards the end of June I was accepted into the position. Oh, goodness, I was so nervous! It is a whole new field and experience for me. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with this new job. I started training and was blessed to work with a lovely young fella. It was nice having someone to talk to and share information with. I did feel bad because he was also stepping into a new position plus training me. I am forever grateful for his time.
I began learning my new role and becoming familiar with the schools. What I don’t know is that next month would be a rude awakening! I enjoy the position, resetting devices, and trying to absorb it all in. I have not met other technicians yet, and I am feeling anxious about the environment. It was nice not having a lot going on while adjusting.
We added another canine to our family this month. Uhtred is a Mini Schnauzer with the cutest face. He would be a handful with the quirkiest personality. Mocha suffers from a lot of anxiety when we leave her behind, so we decided to get her a companion. She was jealous and refused to interact. After she finally accepted his cuteness, her anxiety got a lot better. Now, she is the big sister to her little brother, always looking out for him.
The principals return at the beginning of the month, and then the teachers. I met a few technicians but was still trying to find my place in the position. By the time school started, the tickets had started rolling, and my job went from being mild to extremely out of control! It was the craziest thing I have ever seen! To make matters worse, I was suddenly hit with extreme dizziness. It was so bad it felt like I was drunk; everything was spinning. I was horrified; what if this does not stop? What if I lose my job? What if I cannot do my job? I could barely do my job, and the days were so hard I struggled. Luckily, a few technicians stepped in and helped me get the tickets under control. They are angels, and they are the best. Goodness, I have never experienced such excellent teamwork in my life.
My fellow technicians helped me get my tickets under control while trying to adapt to this new dizzy spell. I am frustrated because I am making little progress, taking every ounce of energy out of me. I begin looking for answers and not getting far. I got the same answer every time: “inner ear trauma or infection.” I started meeting students, teachers, and secretaries. I am working my way through my position and finding my place. It is wild, and I know it will not last forever. It will get better. I also struggle with school because I am so overwhelmed with my dizziness, new job, the craziness, and COVID on top of it all.
By mid-October, things finally start slowing down, and I try to get my offices organized. I have no idea what works, does not work, where anything is. People ask if I have something, and I have no idea! So, I start organizing so that I have an idea of what is available or not. I scheduled to meet with my implant doctor and continue looking for answers to why I am still experiencing dizziness and getting better. Dance is a bit stressful due to COVID-19, and I had to make some sudden, rapid changes to my lessons.
Things did get a little better with work during this month because it slowed down a lot. I could catch my breath and even had some downtime to focus on things I have not been able to do just yet. My best coworker buddy helped me with those horrible mini iPads, getting them to reset and ready for the buyback. Oh, those iPads, there were so many of them and no place to put them! It did allow me to get to know my new coworker, and he is my work angel!
This month would pick up, and I would face some challenging tasks. I finished school in November and was hoping for a quiet month. That did not happen. I would find myself a bit more frustrated this month because I have to make some big decisions. Do I continue with ballet? Can I juggle two classes next semester? Will I be able to start standing on my own two feet soon? I feel like I am not making the progress I had hoped for, but trying to remind myself this is a massive change. I work through many emotions, decisions, tasks, jobs, and responsibilities. It is overwhelming, and I am thankful for my work buddies. I know this will get easier, and it won’t be long; I will have everything mastered. I will still have new things to learn when I finally get the hang of it all and start standing on my own two feet. As for COVID – it didn’t help much with the stress. I miss my friends and clogging. Right now, it is all too much. I am hoping and praying COVID will be gone by summer. I don’t know if I can spend another summer cooped up. I need my Hawaii and bad.